Well, it's Thursday which means it is the day that I "prep" for the weekend. Generally this means being super healthy, exercising a lot and in general being crazy, knowing that the weekend will bring unhealthy tidings.

Right, so I haven't been good about taking pictures for 24 hours. But I'm more motivated again, so they'll start up tomorrow. Breakfast was one of the few remaining muffins, a 1/3 cup oatmeal and probably a little snack or two. Plus, my favorite, a way-too-sweet coffee.

Lunch was a sandwich: one slice rye bread (yum) more beef tongue with arugula (snore!), a tiny tiny little apple (which was cuter than it was tasty) and a pear yogurt (alright for 80 calories and it had actual chunks of pear in it, so this was probably the highlight of the meal). The drink is water, just forgot my water bottle at home today.

I have big plans to have a healthy dinner, exercise, clean and cook tonight. Boyfriend is on overnight call so I'm all alone and intend to take up my time with a nice late hot yoga class.

Fast forward: I'm sitting at my computer, it's 11:10pm and I've been pretty darned productive. I'm done with dinner+finale of Top Chef (brussel sprouts and some snacks), ran 2.5 miles, did 65 minutes of hot yoga (I STILL can't make it through a full class), showered, cleaned up the kitchen (muffin tin is a PAIN to clean!) and am in the process of making "hummus". My phone/camera just died so I'm recharging it while I type so I can provide pictorial evidence throughout my hummus making process.

The Hummus
Lets begin with the explanation. I LOOOOOVVVEEE hummus but I find that it frequently has too much useless oil in it and the tahini paste, which is a sesame paste is REALLY high in fat and not that high in flavor. So I've looked up tons of hummus recipes to find ones with less/no oil and less/no tahini. In a stroke of genius I've combined a few simple ingredients to make a really yummy, nutritious red pepper/feta "hummus" with much fewer calories.

The Ingredients
1. 1-15.5oz can garbanzo beans (chickpeas): reserve the liquid in another container
2. 2 servings of Fat Free Feta Cheese (this is firmer and saltier than it's Fat-Full cousin so I think it's better even disregarding fat content)
3. Zest and Juice of 1 lemon (or a few squirts of lemon juice to taste)
4. Roasted Red Peppers (I buy these in a big jar, they'll sit in the fridge for months even after opening)
5. Salt and lemon pepper (sprinkle liberally then add more to taste)
6. Optional: chipotle chilli pepper, seeds removed (again, a can of these will go a long way and last for months)

Throw all these things together into a blender (I like Magic Bullet) and give it a nice long spin until creamy. Use the reserved bean liquid to achieve desired consistency.

Divide this into 3 portions for about 420/3 --> 140 calories. This is a BIIG main course style hummus serving though. I'd say about a 1/3 cup. Honestly, I usually run out of dipping vegetables and finish it off with a spoon.

Last note: The chipotle pepper is super spicy, so as a first time, just use a sprinkle of cayenne or nothing at all.

As I've written before, yoga tends to zap my appetite, but I didn't have dessert with dinner so I'm going to sit down and watch an episode of House (they played the theme song during yoga and now I'm in the mood) with a nice big teapot of Chocolate Almond Tea (Talbot's) with a splash of milk. Mmmm. Wow, I can smell this all way way in the next room while I blog.

11:45-Will also give myself a manicure and see if Boyfriend notices it's a homemade one!

Goodnight! =)

I didn't want to blog last night, so I got lazy and didn't. Here's a quick recap and then I'll provide a mango salad recipe (one that I didn't cook last night but have made before, so it's only a little cheating)

Here's lunch: salad with the beef tongue and the TJs chopped veggie mix (serving #5 killed the package and I just used the container to make my lunch=easy cleanup) with kidney beans, feta cheese and arugula lettuce. Also pictured is the remainder of my jelly beans from the day before. I didn't want to bring a fruit knowing that if I did I would just eat both.

I am sooooooo sick of salad. Four lunches and a dinner later and I am jonesing for something more real. Compromised for the next day (today's) lunch.

I cancelled the passover cooking class tonight for the following reasons: $40 to learn to make chicken stock, homemade matzoh balls, gefilte fish and ice cream? Ok, maybe I could stand to figure out how to make a lower sodium chicken stock than the norm. But lets face it, I'm making matzoh balls from the package, gefilte fish is kind of gross and I'm gonna leave the ice-cream making to the pros: Ben + Jerry and the makers of Tasti-D.

So instead I went to the gym, logged in 5 miles (at 6.3mi an hour with water breaks every 1.5 miles = 50 minutes) and headed downtown to meet with a friend.

Two glasses of wine later I knew that I wasn't going to be proud of any food intake tonight. We decided to get Thai at Bodhi Tree. Remember, I did NOT want a salad.

There is simply no way that this night wouldn't refelct poorly on the scale the next day, but I decided to deal with that issue later.

But I did have a salad. As an appetizer. This is actually a really small plate but we shared, so they actually served us twice this amount. As a main course I ordered (and devoured entirely) a mixed seafood sautee in ginger sauce that came with a side of white rice (couldn't stop, ate half).

Now, I clearly didn't make this mango salad, but I've crafted many a mango salad before and now that mangos are $1 each again, I suspect they'll be back on my menu. 

Here's the recipe I use:
1 mango (I will never julienne anything in my life, so I just chop this into small pieces in whatever shape is easiest)
1 jalapeno pepper (take out the seeds!)
1/2 green or red pepper (or 1/4 of each if you have them on hand, makes for a more colorful salad)
A few rings of red onion, or as many as you want depending on how much you enjoy red onion (I always wind up throwing out half of my red onion, does anyone have any suggestions?!?)
Cilantro
Lime (zest and juice)
Other additions that I've found work well: cucumber (tiny pieces) grape tomatoes, some sort of acidic dressing (ginger?)

I also looked up what this restaurant used: mango, shallot, scallion, cashews and avocado with a lime dressing.

These were all great and the avocado changes the texture to somewhat creamy and the cashews added a little protein/crunch. I can see myself using a shallot in the future because it's so much smaller!

These salads are great by themselves (and have barely any calories) but are even better when paired with a mild protein (think shrimp or white fish-cod/halibut/grouper/flounder)

This is how I ended my night yesterday. Tell me these aren't the saddest looking "muffins" you've ever seen?

Equally annoying were the package instructions: cook at 350 degrees for 25-35 minutes. Pfffft. This took an hour or more! (Though probably I could have shaved 15 minutes off since these felt a little overcooked). Dissapointed in you, TJ Brand.

This made me very sad.
The red plastic muffin "tin" however made me very happy. Two minutes out of the oven and the thing wasn't even hot anymore. I popped those things right out onto a plate without having "wait 12 minutes for the muffins to cool". Who has THAT kind of patience?
Probably the same people who wait an hour for muffins to cook. Sigh.

Admittedly, they look MUCH better on a plate.

I covered these with foil and hoped that Boyfriend would taste and review in the morning. To my surprise the review was positive, though early in the AM it was also terse: "They were pretty good....hey what happened to the muffin-tops". Well played, Boyfriend.
Soon I got to taste one too. I don't know if it was my addition of the dried raisins/cranberries/cherries but it really did have a nice, heavy, filling and sweet but savory flavor. Unexpected thumbs up!

Here's breakfast. That thing in front is a muffin split in two.
Could have used a little jam or even a spray of butter. Hmmm...tomorrow morning.

Not pictured is the 1/2 cup oatmeal with milk and chocolate syrup I had as seconds. Grrrr, stop!!!

This is the last of the fresh blueberries so the frozen ones are going to come back into rotation.

Remaining plans for today include lunch, hit the gym right after work and right before heading to a passover cooking class with my good friend. Passover is gonna be tough. Might be trying out Z's recipe!

Today a GUY friend of mine saw and read (skimmed?) the blog. I wont use a nickname for him unless he continues to come up, in which case I'll consult with him before putting it up. Also today, a friend of mine, lets call her Z (well everyone calls her Z, but for the purposes of anonymity it will do) emailed me a recipe for Turkey Hash. I presume the idea was for me to put it up on my site? I hope so, because here it is. I'm looking forward to trying it.

By the way, Z (a nurse) is a girlfriend of mine who is engaged to Rocket Scientist (mentioned in the recipe).

I'm definitely feeling pretty great about all this, despite this evenings upcoming boring post. In fact, it's such a boring post that I was going to skip it, but I'm motivated now.
Breakfast was a Dunkin Donuts Egg White Flatbread. Come on, did you think I'd be cooking ALL my meals? Like you, I don't spend my entire life in the kitchen! This was a full breakfast with coffee for <$5. Perfect if you're aiming to have something to do during a boring lecture other than....listen.

Here's a shot of my lunch: similar salad as the day before but sub beef tongue and kidney beans for turkey and feta. I don't blame you for thinking this is gross, but most people who try it wind up liking it so I'm standing by my tongue, damnit!
Also pictured: Tupperware of blueberries (thanks mom!) and my microscope (lunch at my desk today).
Not pictured: the many, many Jelly Belly Beans I also consumed between meals. Furthermore, I had a snack when I got home before heading to the gym/yoga. Ack!
This is getting out of hand. From now on I'm really going to take this seriously and actually take pictures of everything I eat. Hopefully, now that I have readers, I will not want to scare them away with 10,000 pictures of snacks and will simply snack less. Yes? Or am I just deluding myself?

Dinner after yoga (and a 2.5 mile run!) was a simple affair, but spruced up with a nice bouquet of flowers, my springtime favorites!

<---- <3 <3 <3 <3

Actually hot yoga tends to zap my appetite (though I still eat plenty....why??) so this small salad and grapefruit filled me up pretty nicely. Maybe it was the snacks that filled me up =(.

Salad: arugula, TJ's chopped veggies (serving #3), sliced/marinated/sauteed turkey breast (about the size of an iPhone), ginger-soy lite dressing and a handful of
raisin/cherry/cranberry mix.


Boyfriend even had salad today too though his was twice is big, twice as full of chopped veggies (#4!!), meat, topped with feta cheese, croutons and sunflower seeds (it was also probably twice as delicious!).

After dinner: Project Guilt-Free Guilty Food (GFGF?).
Tonight's mission: Trader Joes Triple Berry Bran Muffins. Weighing in at approximately 150 calories each (after the addition of a handful of my raisin/cherry/cranberry mix), this was a recipe I wasn't even going to tweak.

I am waiting for them to mature as I blog, but wont post the results of my labors until tomorrow morning.

Peace, I'm out.

Felt pretty good yesterday despite the gloomy weather. Had a handful of cereal as a snack and ran a good 5 miles on the treadmill, home by 7:30. Boyfriend, who has been complaining that our pots/pans were too disorganized surprised me with an organized pots/pans cabinet. It wont last but still: <3. There were also half-hearted efforts at improving the lighting situation in the kitchen but it seems that good lighting remains out of my reach. Photos will continue to be dark.

I decided to have another go at brussel sprouts. My previous attempts have resulted in sprouts that I thought tasted nice but were not appreciated by Boyfriend (review: too crunchy, not savory enough).

Here's the prep (it took more effort to make this photo-worthy than to actually assemble these ingredients). From the left: garlic powder, lemon-pepper seasoning, sea salt, balsamic vinegar, parmesan/romano grated cheese. The brussel sprouts are in the center.

1. Boil water. Throw in the sprouts whole. Wait 6-8 minutes (less if you LIKE al dente sprouts)
2. Remove from boiling water, cut in half if you have large sprouts. **careful they are HOT**
3. Coat pan with non-stick spray and toss in the sprout halves.
4. Drizzle on balsamic vinegar (enough to have some liquid at the bottom of the pan), sprinkle with sea salt lemon-pepper and garlic powder.
5. Sautee for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally to get the vinegar permeated.

I can't stress this enough: use a big enough pan. I did not and it was too crowded, a pain to toss them and in general, a poor cooking technique. They do NOT shrink with cooking so just fill a bowlful for a single serving.

Once out of the pan, a liberal helping of parmesan/romano cheese (but you can really use any grated cheese you want).
 
I chose to pair these babies with a Blue Moon (get it, Brussels -->Belgium --> Belgian style beer?) that I shared with Boyfriend (so 1/2 of a beer). 

Final Vote: I totally thought these were yummy and fit for the General Public but they only recieved lukewarm reviews from Boyfriend. I have a feeling that if I were to slice up some turkey bacon in there, the ratings would have gone up considerably. I'll option the turkey bacon in the Recipes page. Maybe also a drizzle of lemon juice.

Obviously, just a bowl of brussel sprouts is not a well-balanced meal. I wound up putting some beef tongue on 2 sticks of celery but didn't take a picture for the obvious reason that beef tongue is not a photogenic meat, nor is it something most people will stock in their refrigerators.

Well, I must say, brunch and a post-dodgeball beverage last night pretty much carried me through the whole evening. While I don't recommend skipping meals, if you've taken in an appropriate caloric and nutritional load before "dinnertime" and don't feel hungry, don't feel pressured to eat, your body knows what it needs. Towards 9:30pm I still wasn't hungry but my sweet tooth was acting up.

I decided to make myself a nice steaming cup of caramel tea. No seriously, Talbot Teas makes chocolate and caramel and nutty teas that really taste a lot like dessert! For $12 a cannister and at least 20 nice big servings, it's a great deal! Though it's looseleaf so you have to have an infuser (super cheap, found in all home-goods stores!)
Tip: for a more savory dessert tea, add a little milk or a little sweetener.

Moving right along...

I was pretty proud of what I accomplished in 45 minutes this morning: making and eating a very leisurely breakfast and putting together a nutritious, healthy lunch.

Note: breakfast was both nutritious and healthy but because I went back for seconds, I can't call it successful defensive eating. =( Why? I wasn't even hungry! But at least I am admitting it, maybe next time I wont do it!

5-grain Blueberry Breakfast: This is about 2/3 cup 5-grain cereal, two generous handfuls of blueberries (fresh or frozen-thawed are both fine! and one big handful of some sort of fiber cereal (dry mix to the left). Top it off with 1/3 cup hot water and maybe a splash of milk (a little less appealing after the liquids-right).

I  can't make this out to be more than 200 calories. Pretty satisfying!

I usually pack my lunch so I put this together in about 10 minutes from leftovers and other purchases from Trader Joes.
I can't stress this enough: this Chopped Veggie Mix takes all the work out of salad making. And also all the expense.
Here's what you get for about $5: carrots, celery, green bell peppers, jicama, broccolli, red and white cabbage and raddish. All told, I would call this about 3-4 servings. If you bought even one of each of these veggies, you would run up a bill of $10 and probably have leftovers. AND spend time chopping them. Thanks TJ =)

(Don't have a TJ's near you? Buy veggies and chop them up on Sunday night. They'll sit in the fridge for 3 days. Hint: Jicama and small carrot pieces are high maintenance and the broccolli pieces will look like florets. Throw in a red bell pepper, cucumber and some bean sprouts for an easier chopping experience. Then add some beans.)

To this I added 3 slices of leftover herbed turkey breast and 2 servings of fat-free Feta cheese (leftover from dinner on Saturday). Use any sort of low-cal dressing (45 cal or less/serving).
Final Tally: 250 calories on the outside, $3.50 (maybe $4 if you use fancy turkey or dressing!), veggies, protein, dairy = full tummy!

I also took along a medium sized grapefruit for "dessert". Though, after a blueberry/chocolaty breakfast, it hardly felt like that.

We'll talk again after dinner. The plan is to work out for an hour and eventually make brussel sprouts.

Since these posts are coming so close together, I'll just start where I last left off.

04/02/11: view from Union Square Whole Foods
International Pillow Fight Day!!!

I think that's about all that needs to be said about this.
Found out about this through TimeOut Magazine which is really amazing for finding unique happenings around town. Big thumbs up for this past week's issue detailing free things to do in NYC =).

There's TimeOut Magazine for most big cities too, so check it out.

We continued our laid back Saturday with a mammoth $180 trip to Trader Joe's. I am now the proud owner of a muffin tin and I am going to be experimenting with muffin recipes. Stay tuned.
Dinner was salad. Yummy but nothing to write home about (or even blog about!)

Today though is my mom's birthday. I have spent last night making her a collage of plays we've seen an loved and we have plans to go to brunch today.

The original plan was to make her the perfect Bloody Mary at my apartment but our vodka has disappeared and it's not that surprising that I was unable to buy vodka before noon on a Sunday. Even in NYC.

On to brunch....

Brunch is a tradition, a ritual, a necessity in New York City. But oh it is SUCH a guilty pleasure. A perfect opportunity to eat defensively. Which is not to say I did it today, but maybe next time!

First: If you are planning to work out, ALWAYS work out BEFORE brunch. Even if you do make it to the gym after a heavy meal and a cocktail, your workout will be more difficult and less high-yield.

Second: Consider your cocktail choice carefully. Here's a useful article I found on which cocktails/beverages tend to pack the least and the most calories and carbs.

I strongly recommend a Bloody Mary if you can deal with tomato juice. It is the lowest calorie option, but watch out, there's a LOT of sodium in there too. Keep an eye on what comes with it too: celery-go nuts, olives-leave these behind unless you really love the things.

Third: Don't avoid the brunch you really want. Omelet? Waffles? Go for it. You know you'll be jealous of everyone else at your table if you order the garden salad. But...

Fourth: Eat your entree wisely. As always, it's the things that you don't even notice that wind up making the biggest dent in your diet. It's not the eggs or the pancakes, it's actually the potatoes, the rolls and the fruit toppings that add the most sugar and empty calories (i.e. no nutritional value). So again, unless those are actually your favorite parts of the meal, get a side salad instead of hashbrowns or ask for the fruity topping on the side.

Our brunch took place at Fig+Olive. Readers, if you go here, forget about defensive eating. There is nothing on your plate that you should leave behind. The portions are NOT small, everything swims in olive oil and one good meal here is probably your entire daily caloric intake. But it's worth every ounce the next morning. It's not cheap, but if you're having a special occasion brunch, I highly, highly recommend Fig+Olive.
Their Bloody Marys are pretty amazing too.

Me? I went to a 90 minute hot yoga class this morning where I theoretically sweated off breakfast (don't work out on an empty stomach!). But I didn't deny myself a single bite at brunch and ate after I was full. Still, worth it. I took some of the olives out of my Bloody Mary though. =)

After brunch I played dodgeball (more on this later) and was in no mood to cook anything more impressive than tea. I'll have to prepare some pretty defensive breakfast and lunch tomorrow though....might also begin a muffin endeavor.

It turns out I had to rethink my review of my Baked Tofu and it has now made the cut and will be the first recipe posted in Recipes. Lets talk about what made me change my mind.

The Living Situation
I recently moved in with my boyfriend (who will hereafter be known as "Boyfriend"). I moved from a studio with a small kitchen with no counterspace to a 1 bedroom apartment....with a small kitchen and no counterspace. We have a lot of cabinets, but I can't reach most of shelves. Heightist apartment designers. Grrr.

So you can see, this blog really is for those who are kitchen, budget, time and ingredient challenged. If you look inside of our refrigerator at the end of the week, you're unlikely to find anything except condiments and beer. If I can make something in this place, you can do this at home too.

In fact, I have followed many a food blog and the common denominator appears to be that it starts out doable and eventually, as the author matures, so does his/her cooking style....frequently far above my capabilities. So I'm going to "keep it real". Seriously. As long as I keep this up.

Anyway, another reason I began the blog was to avoid another inevitability. You see, before me, Boyfriend lived on a steady diet of things that have taken a swim in the deep-fryer, things that lived under a blanket of cheese and worst of all, snacks that came and went from his pantry on a regular basis. Especially chocolate snacks. As a person who is unlikely to let a fried food lie or a chocolate snack go untouched, I knew that I would probably pick up a few pounds. I was right :-(. Now, maybe I'll be a little more honest and a little less likely to graze.

Finally, Boyfriend will come up quite often in this blog, as he is my recipe guinea pig. He will be the deciding factor on whether a recipe goes under the heading of "Epic Fail", "Defensive Eating Only" or "For Public Use". In fact, he liked my tofu so much that he asked me to make another batch, thereby elevating it to "For Public Use" status against my own better judgment.

Ok, back to reality. I last left off Friday afternoon as I left work, planning to go to the 5:15 hot yoga class. I had almost successfully avoided all snacking, but right before yoga these little guys called to me. They were each only about the size of a wine cork though, so I felt justified. After all, I was definitely making yoga. Success: 75 minutes of intense heat, sweat and Ohmming.

More on hot yoga in an upcoming post.

Unfortunately, that snack wasn't the end of the downward spiral that is the usual for a Friday night. As I shook the delicious crumbs off of my fingers, I looked down at my phone to find the Text Message of Doom from Boyfriend: "we are going to all you can eat/drink sushi/sake tonight. Hope you are hungry/thirsty". Sigh. I resolved to count sushi rolls, to keep my sake/beer consumption to a minimum and most of all to stop when I was full.

I did none of these things. I went to bed that night feeling overstuffed with sushi and sake. Sigh. Will do better tomorrow.

FYI: we went to Ashiya Sushi on 1st Ave. Decent sushi at best, but a good selection. Crowded, noisy, long wait for a table. Overall though, the price was definitely right, though I can't put an exact number on it, and with such large quantities of uh....sushi....it all blurs together anyway.

In the morning, it took a little bit of time to get cracking. I couldn't get my body to decide whether or not it wanted to sleep or to wake up. Finally, when it became absurd to stay in bed anymore we made breakfast. I can't say enough good things about my 5-grain Apples Breakfast. First of all, you can't go wrong with the 5-grains. But when paired with chopped apples and a helping of the Walden Farms Syrups (I used chocolate today, but the Caramel one actually works better), you wind up with a fast, healthy dessert. See my review in Favorite Products.

Here it is:
~1/3 cup of 5-grain cereal 
3/4 green apple, chopped (reserve rest on side or share)
~1.5-2 Tbsp Syrup
Drop of skim milk/water to moisten the 5-grain.

The prep time is essentially how long it takes you to chop an apple.
It tastes a lot better than it looks and looks a lot better when you use caramel.
Mmmm....crunchy chocolaty goodness. I'd clock this in at 250-275 calories at most.
If you are worried about whatever makes the calorie free chocolate taste so good, use the regular syrup, it doesn't add that much and you're already being pretty good.

After breakfast, there was digestion, and after digestion there was the gym. 6 miles on the treadmill. I came home feeling pretty, pretty, pretty good. Boyfriend went for a run too!

After the run there was lunch. Arugula with 1.5 pieces of Baked Tofu, a handful fruit/nut mix and Annie's Naturals Lite Raspberry Viagrette Dressing. Tonight's plans include a trip down to Trader Joe's, mystery dinner and doing a little arts and crafts for Mom's Birthday tomorrow. Hopefully something blog-worthy will happen.

Until then....enjoy the sunshine New Yorkers!

The day I decided to begin this blogging venture about defensive eating and the situations that arise that make defensive eating necessary I attempted to both defensively eat and to avoid a bad food situation. And failed. Twice. First I'll tell you the tale, then I'll explain begin to expound on my food philosophy. It's a long post, but they'll get shorter as I have less background to cover. Or I'll begin to split them up. I will NOT be posting every day or with every meal as this is not actually my day job. ;-)

Here's the story:
I started off with a relatively healthy breakfast of some frozen blueberries with a little bit of crushed cereal and the remainder of my milk. I also had a variety of other things which I have forgotten, but the total calorie count turned out to be about 400. Lunch was OK too: I brought a frozen 200 calorie meal (lots of sodium-salt- there), a mango and some ginger candies to work. But then I got hungry and went to the cafeteria and had an ear of corn....I guess I'll have to give it a conservative 500 calories. Not great, but I had exercise plans, 5:30-6:30pm. 

I got stuck in traffic on my way home from the Bronx (temporary work location) and missed my exercise time. Grrr. OK next exercise time is 7-8pm. This means that I'd have to eat dinner or snack before my run otherwise my blood sugar would run pretty low. Green apple and a 0% Fage Greek yogurt: 200 calories. I sweetened up the yogurt with a tsp of Calorie Free Caramel Syrup from Walden Farms. This was pretty much fine for me, I would complete my run and enjoy the rest of my evening: plans with a girlfriend to drink a glass of wine and discuss girlfriend things. 

It all started to go downhill about halfway through my run with a text message from said girlfriend: "Do you mind if we hang out at my place tonight, I have a pie in the oven". Uh-oh. This could be trouble. I decided to run an extra mile, bringing it up to 5.5 miles (defensive exercise). I had also planned to try to bake tofu for lunch so I went home and got it started (more on this below). 

I arrived at my friends apartment after 9pm and found her there with her boyfriend. We had a lovely conversation over a glass of wine that can only be described as monstrous. The apple pie sat there, cooling on the stove, threatening. The doorbell rings. They have ordered a pizza pie. "You have to try this", they say, "It's from Nina's, the Argentinian Pizza place on 2nd Ave. Best pizza ever!" Sigh. You know what's coming. I had a slice. A small slice, and just one. I decided to go to a hot yoga class in the morning, 6:20am. "I think the pie is finished cooking. I'm so worried it's not like my grandma used to make" my friend worries. "You have to try a piece". I'm sure you can see a theme building here. Yoga at 6:20am, a healthy breakfast, lunch and maybe even a quick turn on the elliptical after work. A small piece of pie later (I'm actually proud of myself for the small piece of pie and the small slice of pizza) and somehow, a bottle of wine has disappeared. Side note: The pizza was merely OK but if my friend reads this she can rest assured she made an AMAZING pie. Some of it even went home with me. I got home, two hours later than intended, crawled into bed and when I woke up I decided to wait until after work for yoga.

Now it's the morning and I am baking the tofu from the night before while I eat breakfast before heading to work. Hurrah, the morning is good (maybe because I know I'll have to document it): one Kashi Pumpkin and Pecan snack bar (120 calories, only somewhat tasty) and a Trader Joe's Apple + Cinnamon oatmeal with lots of boiling water (I like my oatmeal soupy!) + tsp of Caramel Syrup = caramel apple oatmeal! I also have a few crackers and my calorie total is at 350. Success. My yoga mat is coming with me to work...if I drag it all the way there, surely I'll have to use it afterwards.

Now for a recipe, though to be fair, this is the aforementioned second failure.
This is the recipe I compiled from several online sources:

BAKED TOFU   

1 block of firm tofu cut into 6 slices (400 cal total)
Brushed with Jerk marinade (generic, can use any sort of marinade)

Squeeze the tofu between two heavy cutting boards (or a plate with a pan on top if you live in a single-cutting board household), brush with marinade, stick in fridge for undetermined length of time.

Bake at 350-375 for 10 minutes, flip, bake for another 10 minutes until golden brown.

It did NOT take 20 minutes. It took more like 45-50 minutes with multiple flipping. But it did crisp up on the surface. What it did not do was taste good. Not bad, but definitely goes on the defensive eating list rather than actually tasty. And it shrank. Boo.

Still, having nothing else, I take 2 pieces of the tofu, a bit of salad from the deli and a big orange to work today. The deli salad has dressed portobello mushrooms and an unidentified dressing on it. Considering the ~140 calories of tofu and the orange (~100 cal) I'll highball the salad at 200 calories and keep my total at 440 for lunch. Seriously, hot yoga. And quick turn on the elliptical beforehand.

A QUICK WORD ABOUT MY FOOD PHILOSOPHY

Because this post has been pretty long, I'll keep this pretty short and will elaborate in a future post. I'm overall nothing more than a calorie counter. Sticking to a low-carb or a low-fat or any sort of restrictive diet becomes hard when you don't want to say "no" too often or find yourself not cooking your own food. Plus, there's always something that looks so good you just have to try it. I'm not going to kid myself about my own powers of restraint. They're nonexistent.

I tend to set unattainably low calorie goals for myself and expect to overreach them through the day. I generally feel that attempting to consistently eat 3 portioned meals a day or 6 small meals a day or whatever else is always reccomended is too hard. So I do my best. I try to eat a 300-400 calorie breakfast, the same for lunch and I hit the gym almost every day. At the end, I tally. It's annoying and laborious but if I'm on a train or walking home, it's a good way to pass the time. I tally how many calories I ate, how many calories I have exercised away and see how many more I have before I reach/overreach my goal for the day. This is what I can enjoy in the evening without guilt. Then I enjoy more. With guilt. Oh well, I guess that's why I started the blog, to attempt to hold myself accountable.

Dear Readers (maybe?),
I'm just like you (especially if you happen to live in the city) and live a fairly busy but normal life. But I'm a woman, and that makes me likely to obsess about food, calorie intake, exercise, that extra cocktail or handful of fries and just how my pants are fitting that day. These are things that every woman thinks and things every man dreads hearing about. Sure, there are girlfriends to talk to but lets face it, it's pretty easy to exaggerate, omit and the worst: to justify.

Justifying
The mental progression goes something like this:

1. "'ll just order a salad and drink water tonight.
2. Well it looks like everyone is ordering some appetizers for the table...maybe I'll just graze a little.
3. Oh, that [insert fried food item here] is delicious. It's ok, I'll exercise after dinner.
4. A glass of wine? That can't hurt. I guess I can just wake up early and exercise in the morning. 5. Morning: It's soooooooo early.....I'll be good for breakfast and lunch and try to avoid the appetizers during tonight's happy hour!

Sound familiar? Keep reading.

This is where I come in. My life is full of situations like this. Who wants to sacrifice social interaction or say no to the shared appetizers? Not many of us can really enjoy the evening with a glass of water in hand in order to appear to be "drinking". And WHO really fills up on water before the meal? Most of us fill up on bread. With butter. These are inevitabilities: situations you always think you can "be good" at, but never are.

Inevitabilities
Things I regularly try and fail to avoid:

1. Happy hour cocktail (alcohol is on the no-no list of ALL diets)
2. Extra glass of wine or beer with a nice dinner
3. The handful of fries, the forkful of chocolate cake
4. The free muffins/bagels/pizza/pasta/sandwiches at work
5. The holiday weight
6. The vacation splurges

So I have learned to practice defensive eating. This is the result of the last justification. My mission: to honestly document my attempts at defensive eating and the things that regularly trip me up in my endeavors to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I will discuss both the things that I eat that I'm proud of and the situations where "being good" is unlikely. I'll also try to throw in reviews of restaurants and/or watering holes and how likely they are to cause guilt or pride.

The Basics
I'm 28 years old and am a pathology resident living in New York City. This one sentence means a lot of things. 1) I make a very modest, some might say frugal salary but have a somewhat demanding job 2) My kitchen is pretty small and I have few gadgets or pieces of fancy cooking equipment 3) I don't bulk shop, so my refrigerator is generally stocked with alcohol and condiments and 4) Much of the food around me is expensive.

So here's my promise to my readers. I will not cook with ingredients that are hard to find/expensive/used only once. I will not use bulky or expensive kitchen equipment. I will buy food that is on sale, rarely will it be organic or local. I don't hesitate to use shortcuts, canned or frozen foods, and above all, am willing to try whatever lo-cal/fat-free option I find in the supermarket, chemicals be damned.

I will also be brutally honest in these posts. I will chronicle my kitchen successes and failures. I will document foods that I try that are worthwhile, which things can sit in my fridge without growing colonies of mold and which foods are good for the general public vs the foods that are purely good for defensive eating purposes. In short, I will try to blog about how to manage food in life without letting it become my life.

Here goes...